Still

(Original Song by BIZZYNICCI)

Lyrics

I left the lights on
Like that ever helped
Every shadow still knew my name
I learned how to flinch
Before you spoke
Just to save us both the shame

You liked me better
When I stayed confused
When I nodded like I didn’t see
You called it peace
I called it hiding
Call it whatever lets you sleep

My hands are shaking
But not from fear
It’s just all the things I never said
I bit my tongue
Till it learned the shape
Of every lie I let you sell

You thought I was empty
You thought I was weak
You thought I’d fall apart for sure
But I was counting
Every step back
To the door you never locked

I didn’t scream
I didn’t cry
I learned how to rot and stay alive
If I sound cold
It’s just the truth
I burned the parts that still wanted you

I slept on floors
I wore the same shirt
Let the days bleed into one
I let my name
Go soft in your mouth
Till it didn’t feel like mine

You wanted proof
You wanted blood
Something dramatic, something loud
All I gave you
Was my absence
And you still talk about it now

I don’t heal pretty
I don’t forgive fast
I don’t rise like the movies say
I just stay breathing
Out of spite
And some days that’s enough to stay

I didn’t break
I cracked and held
Pulled myself back from something else
If I look fine
You misunderstood
I survived you
That’s all I did

Still here
Still breathing
Still not yours